When Jesus said if you love me keep my commandments was there an implied threat, i.e. shame on you if you don't love me. I believe ignoring Jesus carries a penalty but not because God is ready to punish us. The penalty is all the problems, fears, and frustrations we experience here and now when we ignore his admonition to love and forgive. Jesus taught forgiveness as a necessity because when we forgive, we benefit and we flourish.
When Jesus said to Nicodemus (John 3) that he came not to condemn and that the world was condemned already, who was it that had already condemned the world? Did he mean that God had condemned everyone so he didn't need to? Who says God is the source of this condemnation? Don't our thoughts and actions often condemn us to pain and misery day by day.
This line of thought also reminds me of Isaiah 59:2 that says your iniquities have separated you from your God. Why does that have to mean that God rejects us because of our sin instead of meaning that our thoughts and behaviors simply blind us to God's presence and truth? I know the same verse in the KJV says He will not hear because of sin, but the word translated "will not hear" can also mean "will not be heard". That provides a dramatically different twist, one which corresponds much better with the preceding verse in the same chapter. Also, it is worth noting that the author says that God is your God despite your iniquities. Careful attention to the Bible involves a lot more than just listening to the repetition of a traditional meaning.