When my mind becomes consumed by religious questions and endless ponderings of the implications of my beliefs, what doe that indicate? What makes what I may say worth hearing? Though, my ego, like everyone else's, loves to puff itself up, I like to think that I can express my personal religious convictions without getting too prideful. I definitely don't claim any special appointment to be anyone's instructor.
The first thing that I need to admit is that my religious meanderings are as much an attempt to convince myself of their truth as anyone else. Seeing a supposed truth and asserting to believe it, does not mean that I live in accordance with that belief with any consistency. Beliefs for me are always in a state of flux, some developing and others changing or dying out. In that mental environment inconsistency is inevitable, I guess.
Additionally, when beliefs stand in stark contrast to the prevailing religious wisdom and the general history of humanity, it is no easy matter to embrace them meaningfully. That being said, one might ask, why should anyone struggle at all to believe such things? My own response to that question is this: as hard as it may be to believe, it is the only thing worth believing, for me. Therefore I'll continue to work on myself and anyone else who cares to listen.